Friday, August 22, 2008

Why I am Mormon Part III

As I awoke the next morning I found myself still excited about the prospect that lay ahead of destroying Sheena's misguided faith. I ran into her later that day and after some small talk she asked if I had ever read the Book Of Mormon. (Apparently she couldn't sleep the night before and after praying and reading the Scriptures she stumbled across a couple of verses in Doctrine and Covenants that implored her to share the gospel) I told her that I had never read it. Sheena then asked me if I would like to read it. I replied I would read it if she would read it with me. She said that would be no problem and returned later that day with a Book of Mormon. We set up an appointment to read for later on that night. At this point I was congratulating myself on how well everything was working. Not only would I be able to argue with her with the source of her belief before me and ready to be torn apart but she would be in my bedroom. I had learned the year before that things were always so much easier if you could end up alone in a bedroom with someone. That night Shenna came upstairs with for our reading appointment. I decided we should start at the beginning of the book and go from there. I vividly remember reading the introduction to the Book of Mormon and poking fun at what it said. It talks of how Mormon and Moroni added a few words of their own. I promptly asked Sheena if I could grab a pen and add a few words of my own to the book because I had somethings I would like to add. She tried to explain to me about prophets but I told her a better name would be ancient con men. She said she would ask someone about what it said and get an answer for me. We continued to read further into what some witnesses had to say about seeing these golden plates. I questioned a few of the choices of words they used and when we got to how Joseph Smith was visited by the angel Moroni I quickly retorted I had heard of people who this happened to. I told Sheena these people were normally known as crazies or had done some amazing hallucinogenic drugs. She tried to answer my concerns but none of it was really working. We stopped before we got to the beginning of first Nephi and said we would start reading that tomorrow. I ended up keeping Sheena in my room for a little while afterwards as I tried to work my magic but to no avail her virtue was strong. The next night we met again and got to the part where Nephi hears a voice telling him to kill Laban. I told Sheena to hold on a second .... I tried to explain to her how the prisons were full of people who heard a voice and the voice told them to kill someone. These people are murders and killers definitely not men of God or prophets. She tried to explain it away but it wasn't cutting it. She told me she would ask someone about it. She then invited me to come to church that Sunday with her. I ended up getting her to watch a movie that night after we read and I decided I would have to move rather slowly so I settled for simple cuddling under the blanket as we watched the movie. On Saturday night after we read some more and I asked her why I should care that Lehi dwelt in a tent and why that matters to my life, I asked Sheena what I needed to where to Church. She told me I needed to wear whatever my best clothes were. I asked her if in her church Jesus hated bums and poor people. She explained that out of respect to God we should wear nice cloths. I ended up wearing one of my suits that I had from when I went to debate tournaments. Not out of respect for God by any means but I had to further my own plans. We ended up walking together to church. Church wasn't far away just across campus from the dorms. This was the first Sunday of the new semester and the Bishop was waiting at the doors greeting his new ward members. When he saw me, Bishop Donaldson(one of the best and greatest men I know) asked me if I just got home from my mission and where I had served. (I kept wondering why all these Mormons thought I served a mission) I promptly replied to Bishop D with these words. "I didn't serve a mission, I am not a member of your stupid cult and I don't plan on joining so I can drink the poison kool-aid one day." Without missing a beat Bishop D realizing I wasn't a member or a RM asked if I wanted to meet with the missionaries. Now I had seen these young men around the Dorms and campus. They seemed so young, idealistic and naive. It thought to myself that not only could I prove to Sheena how wrong she was but I could also get these young men to stop wasting their precious time. I told Bishop D. That I was free that Wednesday night and would like to meet them around seven o'clock if that would work. He made a quick phone call and told me that should be fine. Now being the debater I was I prepared for the confrontation with these two young, misguided men. I prepared all of the argument I had ever thought of or used against organized religion, religion in general and with Christianity. After about three hours of preparation I had five pages of questions to ask these young men that should set them on that path of true enlightenment and knowledge. I was looking forward to this and I was setting up the apartment so things would be stacked in my favor. As seven o'clock approached that Wednesday I had added another page of questions that I had from reading the Book of Mormon. I turned on some loud metal music in my room and set my play list to music that would be sure to put them on edge. One of my favorite things to do from the year before would be to only play certain songs on Sundays really loud during the non quiet hours where no one could do anything about. So I decided these songs would work rather well now since they had upset people last year when they were going to and coming back from church. One of my favorite Sunday songs was by Nine Inch Nails and was entitled, "God is Dead." Seven o'clock rolled around and I hear this firm knock on my Dorm. I smiled with anticipation as I opened the door.

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