Why I am Mormon Part X

For the rest of that day I felt like I was on cloud nine and I simply could not stop smiling. As I went to bed that Oct 19th I knew that for once I had made a choice that not only was correct but that was helping me to become a better person.

I woke up on the 20th of Oct and went to church. President Clark was there to confirm me with the Holy Ghost. Bishop Donaldson was conducting the meeting and told everyone about my baptism. He then asked for a manifestation of those who were in favor of my baptism and confirmation. Well I didn't know I was supposed to raise my hand until I received several strange looks from Bishop D, President Clark and a quick whisper that I needed to raise my hand to. Just as I started to raise my hand Bishop D asked if anyone was opposed to me. Well guess what? My hand just happened to finally go up then. President Clark gave me a rather concerned look and as I looked around the room everyone else seemed to be just as perplexed as I was about this hand raising thing. Bishop Donaldson then asked me if I really meant to oppose the vote and I told him heck no and responded that I was really happy to be baptized and a member of the church.

Bishop Donaldson then announced that I was to be confirmed a member of the church and was to receive the Holy Ghost. Well President Clark and a few other men gathered around me in a circle and laid their hands upon my head. At first I was a little worried cause this seemed kind of weird but I felt a calm reassurance that all was okay. President Clark then called me by name and told me to receive the Holy Ghost. I felt a fire go from the top of my head down to my toes. I felt even more happy than I had the day before. I felt somehow different. I felt something, almost like I was reuniting with an old friend. It was almost like a comforting blanket being wrapped around me. I felt more sure and confident then ever before. It is something that I find hard to describe.

President Clark then began to talk and give me a blessing. The one thing that I remember was him blessing me to go on a mission. As I sat there listening to him talk about me being a missionary I was thinking to myself. Is he trying to blackmail me into going on a mission. I don't want to. As he continued to talk about me serving a mission I came to the conclusion he was trying to blackmail me with this blessing. Well he didn't know I had joined the Marine Corps and serving a mission was right out. I had other things I was doing and all these blessing me was talking about were going to be wasted and I was still pretty upset about what I perceived as him blackmailing me.

Bishop Donaldson then asked me to bear my testimony. Well.... I had no idea what this thing called a testimony was. Well since I didn't know what he was asking me to do I asked him as I stood there next to him at the pulpit I asked him what is a testimony. The sisters were sitting up at the front with President Clark and the other members of the bishopric and as one Bishop D, President Clark and the others on the stand looked at the sisters with a look that said why was this kid baptized without a testimony. Well I still hadn't received an answer regarding what a testimony was so once again I asked. Bishop D asked me if I had a testimony.... I said, "well I don't know if I have one... What is a testimony?" He just had this look on his face like what do I do now.

One of the sisters quickly whispered to me that a testimony was what I believed. I whispered back, "Well I believe alot of different things what do you want me to talk about." She replied, "you need to talk about God, Jesus, the scriptures and the prophet and the church being restored." Well I could do that. I wondered why they just didn't put it that simply to begin with. I then looked at Bishop Donaldson and told him I had testimony and I would love to share it.

I then started(I don't remember it verbatim but this is pretty close to what I said), "Well guys, there is a God in Heaven who is my Father and he loves me very much and he is very happy that I got baptized. God also has a Son named Jesus Christ (I still thought that Christ was the saviors last name at this point in my life) that came to this Earth and he lived here. He suffered some really bad things but he loved me and everyone enough to deal with them. Some People didn't like him very much and they crucified him on a cross. He died on that cross but three days later he came back to life." I then told them, " Jesus Christ is my savior from death and redeemer from sin. He suffered for my sins so I wouldn't have to if I chose to follow him and do what he asks. He was baptized and he did everything in his entire life right. I haven't always followed him or did things that are right but from now on I am going to try to follow his example better. I love him very much and if you guys don't know it Jesus Christ is a stud and our messiah."(It might not be eloquent but hey I had only accepted God and Jesus a few weeks before this)

I then told everyone about the book of Mormon and how it was just like the bible but that it happened in America and that it was true just like the bible. I told them I knew the church of Jesus Christ(told you I thought Christ was his last name) had been restored and that I was baptized into it the day before and that I stood speaking in it today. I then briefly talked about the prophet Joseph Smith and summarized with this statement, " Well, Joseph Smith was a pretty freaking awesome guy and a prophet like Moses or Noah and I love him to." I then started to sit down because I had said my piece. President Clark whispered to me that I was supposed to say in the Name of Jesus Christ Amen. I didn't know this so guess what I said... "guys I was just told I needed to say in the name of Jesus Christ Amen. So In the name Of Jesus Christ Amen.

I really don't remember the rest of that meeting but I just sat there with a big smile on my face. The next thing I had to get was patriarchal blessing. However with regards to this blessing I had questions regarding what President Clark said as I was confirmed.

Why I am Mormon Part I

You can think of me what you will for claiming the title of Latter-Day Saint better known as a Mormon, but the one thing I know is that I am a better man today then I was before I joined the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I was raised by Christian parents, a mother who tried to bring religion into my brother and my life at different times. It seemed we went to church most around holidays like Easter or Christmas or when there was some kind of traumatic incident in our families life. I remember one of my favorite books growing up was a picture bible that was set up like a comic book. I loved to read it and enjoyed the stories especially the ones in the Old Testament. I remember being puzzled by the words at the end of the Old Testament that said, "end of the prophets" it was many years later that I finally came to understand this. However as I got older like some children I began to drift away from the teaching of my youth. This was much to the dismay of my maternal grandmother who is one of the most saint-like women I have ever known. As I continued to grow older this schism in what I thought and believed about religion only grew wider. I began to embrace the philosophy of men rather than the teaching of God and Jesus. I began to idolize such men as Nietzsche and Machiavelli for the logic they sought and wrote about. I begin to use reason and logic rather then upon that still small voice that speaks eternal truth. As I progressed further and further down this part of my life pragmatism and cold hard logic and science replaced any lingering thoughts about a higher power. I remember arguing with a former girl friend about her beliefs regarding Wiccan thoughts and her belief in dragons and fairies. I took the same line of thought when arguing with those who believed in any higher law than themselves. I compared them to primitive cave men who saw lighting and came up with some Deity who must be behind the scenes hurling lighting bolts from the heavens. As friends would talk to about Jesus and God I would ridicule them the same way I would someone who believed in Zeus or Thor and thought they really existed and lived somewhere. I began to believe that in Science, Logic and myself lay where truth really existed. I ended up graduating High School and looked forward to college as a place where I might meet like minded men and women who would not believe in as George Carlin put it, "The greatest BS story of all time." I ended up picking political science as my major and one of the reasons was a professor named Jim Schampel who taught at the college and I saw myself as following in his footsteps. I took delight in his logic and in how he dealt with those who believed in Christianity or any other religion. From him I took my cues and began to argue against the existence of God in many of my classes. I remember being in a introduction to philosophy class and making some eighteen or nineteen girls cry because I used logic and reason and straw man type arguments to show them how their beliefs were no better than Greek mythology and were just set up by con men. I remember blatantly yelling that God was dead and no longer cared if he even existed in the first place and challenging those who thought differently to argue with me. When people would try to bear testimony of what they believed to me I would compare that burning in the bosom to when I ate something spicy and later got heart burn and asked them if what I was thinking when I got heart burn was the spirit speaking to me. I would tell them that God was only a grown up version of Santa Claus that people went to. My skills in logic and argumentation were only strengthened by my joining the debate team. This however was not all I did to destroy those who I saw as having an archaic view of the world. Those same young girls who so passionately argued that God existed I sought to take that which is most precious from them. This is one of the things that I most regret about that period of my life. I also dressed up as a dead missionary that year for Halloween. Drilling a hole in a Book Of Mormon and splashing fake blood all over a white shirt and then proceeding to go trick or treating throughout the dorms. I lived to show those who believed how wrong they were. I remember later talking to the Stake President and he told me what a trouble maker I was and how many people would come crying into the institute on campus and wanting to know if what I said was true. I also sought to dissuade those who were investigating both the Mormon Church and religion in general and I relied upon the sophistry of men to dissuade them from what they were searching for. I friend of mine who was on the debate started to investigate the Mormon Church and myself and others ridiculed him and sought to re-corrupt him so he could join in our fun again. So for my freshman year I went about trying to destroy the works of God and his church. I thought I was in the right and everyone else was being astray by religious con men who were only using religion as an opiate for the masses or to make money for themselves. I sought to bring people to realize the errors of their way. I wanted to help them see they believed in vain superstitions as real as the Easter bunny, Santa Claus or the tooth fairy. I was to only learn how wrong I was.